"Dearly beloved we are gathered together today in the sight of God..."
When I sat down to write this blog. I didn't have a clue where to begin. As I bowed my head to pray for help the words above flowed. Isn't this the start of a wedding?
I wasn't totally shocked. I've given a lot of thought to wedding vows lately. For richer for poorer, in sickness and in health have come to mind easily. When I realized I couldn't remember the rest of the vow I asked Alexa. Here's what she had to say. (Names inserted by me.)
"In the name of God, I, Cheri, take you, David, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, forsaking all others, until parted by death."
I'm grateful for vows, especially ones made before God. I see the power of grace in vows. We can't keep this level of promise without the power of love and grace. The most surprising thing might be when we become people who genuinely want to keep these sacrificial promises. We learn what it means to love and to cherish when we live into all the parts of the vow that comes before those words. Is there anything better than to be loved and to be cherished or to be the one who loves and cherishes? Thoughts like these are an anchor while the storm of uncertainty rages around me.
That brings me to my thoughts about you. I often think of you and pray for you. Many are heartbroken by our circumstances. I know how it feels to be heartbroken over a friend's story. Some of you are confused by what God allows. I know how that feels too. Since March, I have experienced the deepest moments of confusion and disorientation to date. I thought I'd hit some big versions of this already. They were practice rounds by comparison. So I write here to acknowledge what is happening and with the hope, it will be helpful.
Swirling confusion has made me appreciate vows more than ever. Emerging from a confusing conversation with God, I began to ponder that Christ's followers are described as the Bride of Christ. God has made vows to us and we have the opportunity to make vows in return. It's the kind of relationship God is wanting to have with us: for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we easily live together forever.
Like the vows from my wedding, I'm learning I don't exactly remember what was promised and what was not. I've had to look those up too. Graciously, miraculously I'm tasting it's possible to become a bride that loves and cherishes even when life isn't going the way she was expecting. I'm also experiencing how loved and cherished I am regardless of my capacity to see, understand, or trust a relationship that allows circumstances I do not want. "How can this be love?" has probably been the most confusing and painful one of them all. Reading through the book of Job became a satisfying answer to the question. That's probably a blog for another day.
Back to vows. What vows am I willing to take? What will I agree to or accept? What will I forsake? How has the practice of Lent every year prepared me to be a vow taker? Until I reflected on this I wasn't aware that it was the spiritual discipline of vow-taking that I was practicing. Neither did I see the similar impact to how vows lived in marriage create a loving and trustworthy relationship. I'm sure I've heard teaching on this but wasn't able to connect the dots till now. There is nothing like lived experience for dot connecting!
The list of vows I've been willing to make has grown over the years. I see a cycle emerging. God reveals something new about His commitment to me in an experiential way. I desire to reciprocate and meet both my willingness and my resistance. I keep practicing, succeeding, failing, practicing some more, and after a time of choosing and the miracle of grace, it becomes who I am in the relationship. While never perfect, it does become something I am more often than I'm not. In other words, vows practiced become a way of life. Living the cycle creates a deepening of loyal love.
What do these words invite you to? Has love turned you into a vow keeper?
Dear Lord,
Only you could change confusion and heartbreak into a deeper vow of love and commitment. How you do that amazes me. Bless and keep all the ones that have been so faithful to love and pray for Dave and me. Help them to know their prayers are doing more than they can imagine. Help them to be honest with You as they pray. Help them to receive what they need as they pray for Your Kingdom to come and Your will be done in the lives of all the people they love. May this become a time of deepening faith and vow-making and vow-keeping for them too.
In Jesus' name, I pray, Amen
