Sometimes I can't have what I want.
I can't have a problem solved.
I can't have someone's trust.
I can't defend myself.
I can't be understood.
I can't have clarity.
I can't have perspective.
In those places I have choices to make.
Will I run, hide, become angry and sin, become bitter, demand what I want? Will I allow myself to feel the frustration and pain of unmet desires. Will I notice that all those choices just makes everything worse?
Will I seek Him above all else? Will I wait with hope? Will I receive what He has to offer me when it's not what I'm wanting? It's humbly to let go of what you want and to trust another for your own good or for the greater good.
At times I realize that I am putting up a fight with God. The desires of His heart are different from my own. When my desires seem good that feels particularly hard to sort through. When I'm still resisting and not resting there is process not yet completed. So I pray that the Lord will help me arrive at His desires for me today.
Where it's not an internal struggle but an outside enemy, I pray that God will show me which part of the armor I'm leaving out of the mix: truth, God's righteousness, peace, faith, my salvation, The Spirit, a willingness to pray without ceasing.
As I walk away... I think I'll ponder with God what it means to be content in all circumstances.