Friday, January 19, 2007

A tree

I'm in this class right now that wants me to journal three to five times per week. I journal quite a bit. But I don't journal three to five times per week. There have been times in my life when I have forced myself to journal reguarily. But over many years now I have left journaling for times when I feel inspired about something that I just had to put down on paper. Or I am deeply troubled about something and it seems like I wont get past until I write something down. But when you choose to write on a regular basis and there is no specific inspirational moment or crisis looming I find it very difficult to focus my thoughts.

So I'm going to share random thoughts and see if they form some kind of connection.

God is amazing. God has brought me through some rough waters and my feet feel like they are on solid rock for the first time in a long time.

God is relentless in His pursuit.

God is so indescribable.

It is possible to connect with another person's experience without either one of you being able to adequately put it into words.

God's grace is sufficient.

I am hopeful in a way I haven't been for a very long time.

I regret my resistence to God and yet I'm grateful for how real the lessons learned are when resistence is a part of the relationship.

I feel like a tree who was barely healthy. I feel like a tree who didn't stand out from any other tree in the forest. And yet the caretaker noticed that this barely healthy tree needed some help. Much to the dismay of the little tree, the caretaker decided the best way to help this tree was to spread some stinky and unpleasent manure around the tree. Then in order to get the food absorbed some watering was going to be necessary. The tree didn't like being cold and wet. The tree knew it wasn't doing so well and had longed to be healthier and was afraid of what it might take to get healthy. So while the fertilzer was laid down and the water was poured on the little tree it seemed to forget that it cared about being stronger and more healthy. All it wanted was for the smell to stop and for the water to go away. When the caretaker saw that it had given the tree all that it needed to become healthy again he took a break. The tree began to notice something. There was energy inside its limbs that hadn't been there before. That spring for the first time in a couple of years its branches were full of blossoms. The things that the tree hated about the fertilizer and the water were even now providing protection of some sort. Then the tree began to bear fruit, healthier fruit then it had even given birth to before. When the wind blew the tree noticed that it was less afraid for there was strength there that hadn't been there before. The tree made a promise to itself that day that the next time the caretaker came around to provide what it needed in ways it didn't like that it would try to remember how good it felt to be a strong, vibrant, protected and fruit bearing tree.

What random thoughts are you having today?

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