Yesterday was hard because it was the last time, I was to lead the Bible study I have been a part of for the last three years. Because I was so sad about many things related to that and needing to answer peoples questions about what decisions we've made. The emotion of sadness was overwhelming any awareness of peace I have had about our decision to move back to Dallas at the end of June.
After Bible study, I enjoyed a spontaneous lunch that went on for close to two relaxing hours with three other ladies. It was a great gift after a hard morning. Then it was time to go home. My husband is away this week so he called to check in on how my morning went. The anxiousness and sadness was steadily building.
After our phone call, I started working on the blog entry I posted yesterday, the words from Lamentations were so helpful to me. I went from being depressed and sad to generally hopeful again.
But God wasn't done encouraging me yet!
Last night I had class, I took an old Bible of mine. There is so many things about this Bible that I love. The number one thing is that is was given to me by Grandparents who dearly loved me and dearly loved the Lord. They gave it to me for my seventeenth birthday and I loved it from the very beginning. On the first inside page, my grandmother wrote these words:
Rejoice evermore, pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks for this is the will of God concerning you. With much love, Grandmother and Granddad True. I Thes. 5:16-18
I have read this inscription countless times over the years. I can remember thinking in years past, why did Grandma pick these verses over all other verses to write in the bible she gave me?
But this time I realized this was not only a verse she appreciated, but a prayer for me. She wanted me to be able to live my life with the kind of relationship with God that would lead to rejoicing always, praying always and knowing that it was God's will for me to be thankful no matter what.
Being prayerful yesterday about my questions and my feelings led me to two places, a passage in Lamentations and a passage in 1 Thessalonians. The Word of God and the Spirit of God truly brought me back from sadness and insecurity to deep joy and hopefulness and certainty in Him.
One of my biggest concerns is that I do not want to be intentionally rebellious or blind to any rebellion associated with this situation. Am I being rebellious? I need to know if we are doing the right thing.
The second I finished reading 1 Thes. 5:16-18 I realized that I have been given an opportunity to rejoice always, pray always and to be thankful. To be living right smack dab in the middle of the will of God and the prayers and hopes of my grandparents. It was a powerful moment for me.
Oh the joy that has flooded my soul! I intend to enjoy every second of the lingering joy. God has been crazy good in spite of me again today.
One last thing, I wonder if an angel got to go tell my Grandparents what happened last night?