I was in a conversation the other day. A friend of mine was about ready to tell me about some circumstances that have happened in the last ten days or so. Its the kind of circumstances where if it keeps moving forward, something we've been dreaming about for some kids in Ft. Worth could happen. He stopped himself from speaking. I said, "What?". He said honestly, "I'm afraid to say it out loud because I might jinx it." I gave him a look. The look meant, don't think that way. He knew it. And then he braved telling me the story of what has been happening. He wanted me to know how I could pray for the people and the circumstances.
Then I admitted to my friend, that I gave him that look because I'm tempted to be controlled by that fear too. Why is it, that we believe that if we speak the words that somehow God's intervention might end? The other fear that I deal with is that if I name it, I might start to demand that God do it. If He doesn't do it then I'll be shamed and look foolish.
Is there any part of life where there isn't tons to learn about???!!!
In a show of solidarity with my friend/brother in Christ, who risked sharing the progression of a dream with me this week, I'm going to put out there a dream of mine. I'm asking God to keep me from having a demanding attitude about it all. I'm asking God to help me trust Him with it. I really have no idea if this place will ever exist.
If you want to, after I describe it you can send me some suggestions for a name. I'd like for this place I'm dreaming about to have a name.
Okay, here it is. It's a book store. Or at least it looks like a bookstore to the average person walking by. (It's really a non profit ministry in disguise). It's full of great literature for sale. There are books on history, philosophy and Christianity in there too. It has homey places to sit read and have conversation. You can buy a great cup of tea and a great cup of coffee in this place. Some wonderful cooking friend of mine in the area, will want to get a business going out of her home and he/she will bake yummy things for people to eat with their coffee or tea. In the back will be a room. It will look like a library room in a large/old fashioned home. It will have a fireplace. It will be the perfect spot for a one on one conversation that just wouldn't be a good idea to have out in front with everyone else. Also in the room or maybe even another one, it will have a great big table made of big logs or something substantial. Around that table I can lead or simply participate in books discussions. Or, lead small groups through these Listen To My Life materials I'm so excited about.
This one only happens if it falls into the category, "Thy will be done". I can't make this one happen. I have no desire at this point in my life to make anything happen that doesn't match up with the Lord anyway.
It is a work of grace that I sit here at the end of what I've written unafraid, hopeful but not demanding and ready to trust God with the dream. What a great journal entry to run across 20 years from now.
What are you dreaming about?