Our pastor has been asking us to write a Psalm. My day yesterday inspired a lament.
I am hard pressed on every side.
I am left to choose between right and easy.
I am broken in spirit.
I am without hope.
I am left with unanswered questions.
Only you can I turn to for strength.
Only you can I turn to for hope.
Only you can give me wisdom and understanding.
So I will seek You, trust You, ask You.
I will be grateful You are there.
A few entries ago I had a day where rejoicing in the day the Lord had made was pretty darn easy. Yesterday, not so easy. Like most of life it turns out substitute teaching has good days, average days and really bad days. Writing this Psalm really did help me get perspective on the whole thing. Coming home to my family did me a whole lot of good as well. Thanks, you two.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Substitute Teaching
You really never know where God is going to lead you.
A speaker this week said she has become convinced that you never really know the will of God until your looking at it in the rear view mirror.
I can relate to that comment. When you look back its so much easier on many things to say, "Now I understand what you were up to God."
My newest adventure is substitute teaching for my local school district. I substitute teach for middle school and high school teachers for potentially all subjects.
In the spring several events and several conversations with Lord led me to think this is what God wants me to do. The reasons that made the most sense to me is my love for English Second Language students. The school systems of American have more of those than they know what to do with. I have had the opportunity to sub in this area several times both for high school and for middle school classes. I loved working with those kids just as much as I have enjoyed working with their parents. The reg flags of this experience are the lack flexibility in leadership one has as a teacher in the current environments. That's a blog entry for a whole separate blogspot.
I have identified in just one month of doing this a couple of unexpected gains. There is no other event in my life that has put me in a more dependent place daily than the choice to substitute teach. I am very outside my comfort zone and leadership skill level. I have seen God provide for me in very specific and wise ways. I am hopeful about the future benefits of learning to discipline myself to be dependent on God daily for my "work life".
The other gain is the chance to develop flexible leadership skills. Some classes get to a place where a heavy hand is the only option. Most classes need someone to facilitate the natural leaders in the class to step up and lead. Leading kids through the confusion of doing things differently has been interesting as well.
I just thought of something else I am learning to do. I have to discern who to trust quickly. Every one enjoys themselves much more if I lead from a place of trust rather than fear. That kind of leading has risks. But it has also had great rewards.
So its going to be very exciting to look in my rear view mirror someday and know more about why God has me doing this now.
And, I look forward to God answering my questions about whether or not God wants me to pursue being certified as a teacher and obtaining a teaching position in the school district.
What new challenge has God presented you? What are you gaining from it in your walk with God?
A speaker this week said she has become convinced that you never really know the will of God until your looking at it in the rear view mirror.
I can relate to that comment. When you look back its so much easier on many things to say, "Now I understand what you were up to God."
My newest adventure is substitute teaching for my local school district. I substitute teach for middle school and high school teachers for potentially all subjects.
In the spring several events and several conversations with Lord led me to think this is what God wants me to do. The reasons that made the most sense to me is my love for English Second Language students. The school systems of American have more of those than they know what to do with. I have had the opportunity to sub in this area several times both for high school and for middle school classes. I loved working with those kids just as much as I have enjoyed working with their parents. The reg flags of this experience are the lack flexibility in leadership one has as a teacher in the current environments. That's a blog entry for a whole separate blogspot.
I have identified in just one month of doing this a couple of unexpected gains. There is no other event in my life that has put me in a more dependent place daily than the choice to substitute teach. I am very outside my comfort zone and leadership skill level. I have seen God provide for me in very specific and wise ways. I am hopeful about the future benefits of learning to discipline myself to be dependent on God daily for my "work life".
The other gain is the chance to develop flexible leadership skills. Some classes get to a place where a heavy hand is the only option. Most classes need someone to facilitate the natural leaders in the class to step up and lead. Leading kids through the confusion of doing things differently has been interesting as well.
I just thought of something else I am learning to do. I have to discern who to trust quickly. Every one enjoys themselves much more if I lead from a place of trust rather than fear. That kind of leading has risks. But it has also had great rewards.
So its going to be very exciting to look in my rear view mirror someday and know more about why God has me doing this now.
And, I look forward to God answering my questions about whether or not God wants me to pursue being certified as a teacher and obtaining a teaching position in the school district.
What new challenge has God presented you? What are you gaining from it in your walk with God?
Monday, October 22, 2007
Paradigm Shift
I am going through a massive paradigm shift. I have avoided talking about it here because as hard as I am going to try to explain what I believe I think there is a pretty good chance some will misunderstand me and dismiss me as becoming "liberal".
One of the ways that evangelicals distinguish themselves is their passion for truth. This turns into a belief that we can know what is "right". Being "right" is highly prized. If its true that for every strength there is a weakness what is the weakness of this viewpoint?
A while back I was thinking these questions. "Is God's highest and best for me that I be "right"?" "Does God communicate to us about himself through scripture that his greatest and most important characteristic is his "rightness"?" Do we learn in the New Testament that we will be most like him if we just learn what is the "right" answer for every question?"
I was also observing that those that prize being "right" also often talk about the dangers of being "wrong". This leads to list of dangerous enemies. While some say we have to love our enemies they never talk about how to do that. Instead they move onto telling you more about why they are "right". How many people who make it a mission to teach what is "right" have as their highest goal, the persuasion of those who are wrong because they love them and are deeply concerned about their well-being verses the motivation of self preservation?
Some people have taken these messages and come to believe that their highest calling from God is to tell people how to think and act rightly. When challenged about what to do with the verses that tell us we are not to judge lest we be judged they don't know how to fit that thought into their belief system. To judge others and tell them that they are wrong is one of their duties.
My paradigm shift - What if we valued God's love and compassion for every one as being equal to God being right. Is telling the world how right God is without sharing with them how loving He is doing more harm than good?
Having a relationship with Jesus, experiencing his love for me has been what has persuaded me to give up what I want, what my flesh craves and take a chance that Jesus is right. Over and over again Jesus has proven himself to be right, always right.
This means I'll be willing to have a friend who is struggling to give up being a prostitute, because she isn't sure she can believe that God will provide for her if she gives up the only security she knows. I will listen to her not judge her. I will pray for her. I will testify to why I am so certain the promise of provision is true. I will find other prostitutes who feared the same thing trusted God and He was faithful.
This means that I will encourage my son to have friendships with people who don't believe that following God is worth the trouble. It means I wont abandon my son if he chooses to lead a double life.
It means that I'll be honest about my own sin nature and my desperate need for the love and correction of God. I will be honest about the damage the self righteousness has done to my own soul.
It means I will risk being misunderstood by those who believe that compassion is the same as giving permission for sin.
God has extended me so much compassion, grace, forgiveness, love, mercy to me. How on earth do I have the right to withhold that from others? I believe it is God's place and responsibility to judge and to convict. My job is to affirm through my own testimony what God has done for me.
It is my job to seek the Lord so He can teach me what He wants me to know. Trusting that what I learn from Him can be confirmed in scripture and in the testimony of other believers.
P.S - I'm willing to listen to any reaction you may have to what I have just written. I don't want to engage in an argument so I may not respond to your comment but I do promise to think about and pray about whatever you might share.
If you have a question please don't hesitate to ask? Please don't hesitate to respond anonymously if that is important to you for some reason.
One of the ways that evangelicals distinguish themselves is their passion for truth. This turns into a belief that we can know what is "right". Being "right" is highly prized. If its true that for every strength there is a weakness what is the weakness of this viewpoint?
A while back I was thinking these questions. "Is God's highest and best for me that I be "right"?" "Does God communicate to us about himself through scripture that his greatest and most important characteristic is his "rightness"?" Do we learn in the New Testament that we will be most like him if we just learn what is the "right" answer for every question?"
I was also observing that those that prize being "right" also often talk about the dangers of being "wrong". This leads to list of dangerous enemies. While some say we have to love our enemies they never talk about how to do that. Instead they move onto telling you more about why they are "right". How many people who make it a mission to teach what is "right" have as their highest goal, the persuasion of those who are wrong because they love them and are deeply concerned about their well-being verses the motivation of self preservation?
Some people have taken these messages and come to believe that their highest calling from God is to tell people how to think and act rightly. When challenged about what to do with the verses that tell us we are not to judge lest we be judged they don't know how to fit that thought into their belief system. To judge others and tell them that they are wrong is one of their duties.
My paradigm shift - What if we valued God's love and compassion for every one as being equal to God being right. Is telling the world how right God is without sharing with them how loving He is doing more harm than good?
Having a relationship with Jesus, experiencing his love for me has been what has persuaded me to give up what I want, what my flesh craves and take a chance that Jesus is right. Over and over again Jesus has proven himself to be right, always right.
This means I'll be willing to have a friend who is struggling to give up being a prostitute, because she isn't sure she can believe that God will provide for her if she gives up the only security she knows. I will listen to her not judge her. I will pray for her. I will testify to why I am so certain the promise of provision is true. I will find other prostitutes who feared the same thing trusted God and He was faithful.
This means that I will encourage my son to have friendships with people who don't believe that following God is worth the trouble. It means I wont abandon my son if he chooses to lead a double life.
It means that I'll be honest about my own sin nature and my desperate need for the love and correction of God. I will be honest about the damage the self righteousness has done to my own soul.
It means I will risk being misunderstood by those who believe that compassion is the same as giving permission for sin.
God has extended me so much compassion, grace, forgiveness, love, mercy to me. How on earth do I have the right to withhold that from others? I believe it is God's place and responsibility to judge and to convict. My job is to affirm through my own testimony what God has done for me.
It is my job to seek the Lord so He can teach me what He wants me to know. Trusting that what I learn from Him can be confirmed in scripture and in the testimony of other believers.
P.S - I'm willing to listen to any reaction you may have to what I have just written. I don't want to engage in an argument so I may not respond to your comment but I do promise to think about and pray about whatever you might share.
If you have a question please don't hesitate to ask? Please don't hesitate to respond anonymously if that is important to you for some reason.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Sunday
Today is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!
Today I
Today I
- have listened to great worship music - Vicky Beeching and David Crowder.
- enjoyed taking a walk with my dog.
- had great left over Thai food from a gathering we had at our house last night.
- enjoyed a wonderful conversation with my husband.
- found a job for tomorrow as an English Second Language teacher in a school I've been hoping to get into soon.
- worked something out with God that I was feeling really frustrated and disappointed in myself about.
- soon I get to leave the house for an all-church celebration regarding our new pastor coming to our church.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Praying - What a JOYe!
Recently a friend of mine gave a talk at bible study at the end of her talk she asked us to participate in a prayer practice that was new to me.
The instructions were basically think of a word or image that relates to your walk with God right now. Then somewhere on a blank page write the word and a very simplistic marking to represent that word. Keep repeating the process.
The first word that came to mind was growth. This word was related to the Lord stretching me by asking me to pursue substitute teaching in the middle and high schools in our community. So I drew a tree trunk. That led to my hopes about the fruit that would be born from this activity in my life. So I drew apples and they each represented a different characteristic I either was hoping to see developed in me or expressed to the kids. That led to drawing a path on the right side of the page.
What happened next was so telling. I consciously thought that Jesus should be just a half step a head of me. So I wrote his name down and then mine. I looked at what I had done. I had put my own name a half-step ahead of his. Shoot. So I crossed out my name and rewrote it where it belonged. What I loved about the way I drew the path was that there was no destination in sight. I don't know specifically yet where this is headed. I'm walking by faith.
That thought prompted the words "eyes to see". I desire to have eyes to see what God has planned for me as soon as he wants to let me in on it. So I drew a pair of eyes.
That thought led to the word glory. All of this is to be for his glory so I made "marks of praise" and "marks of glory" at the top of my page. Time was up and I was done with my prayer.
Everyone at our table shared their prayer and expressed how amazed they were at the process and that it did reveal to them where they are at right now. What a gift our leader gave to us.
Dear Lord,
I continue to be amazed at the wonder of the combination of being and doing. When we are honest in our being before you and doing something anything that reflects that the indescribable and something very meaningful happens. Lord so many of us have been so afraid of legalistic doing we have been tricked into passivity. So I ask that you would continue to give me and others who desire this as well doings that match up with our being in you. Help us to see the light you create and give you all the glory for it.
Amen
The instructions were basically think of a word or image that relates to your walk with God right now. Then somewhere on a blank page write the word and a very simplistic marking to represent that word. Keep repeating the process.
The first word that came to mind was growth. This word was related to the Lord stretching me by asking me to pursue substitute teaching in the middle and high schools in our community. So I drew a tree trunk. That led to my hopes about the fruit that would be born from this activity in my life. So I drew apples and they each represented a different characteristic I either was hoping to see developed in me or expressed to the kids. That led to drawing a path on the right side of the page.
What happened next was so telling. I consciously thought that Jesus should be just a half step a head of me. So I wrote his name down and then mine. I looked at what I had done. I had put my own name a half-step ahead of his. Shoot. So I crossed out my name and rewrote it where it belonged. What I loved about the way I drew the path was that there was no destination in sight. I don't know specifically yet where this is headed. I'm walking by faith.
That thought prompted the words "eyes to see". I desire to have eyes to see what God has planned for me as soon as he wants to let me in on it. So I drew a pair of eyes.
That thought led to the word glory. All of this is to be for his glory so I made "marks of praise" and "marks of glory" at the top of my page. Time was up and I was done with my prayer.
Everyone at our table shared their prayer and expressed how amazed they were at the process and that it did reveal to them where they are at right now. What a gift our leader gave to us.
Dear Lord,
I continue to be amazed at the wonder of the combination of being and doing. When we are honest in our being before you and doing something anything that reflects that the indescribable and something very meaningful happens. Lord so many of us have been so afraid of legalistic doing we have been tricked into passivity. So I ask that you would continue to give me and others who desire this as well doings that match up with our being in you. Help us to see the light you create and give you all the glory for it.
Amen
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Idols
Why do we have idols? Or more specifically why do I have idols?
I was really struggling to be obedient about something. At first I tried behaviors that have helped put my heart attitude back in a good place. That was having limited success. I've learned that when the old ways of doing things aren't helping something new is up. So after resisting a heart to heart with God about the thing I finally sat my butt down and asked the Lord sincerely what's up!
The answer I got back was indeed something new for me. The Lord pointed out that I was struggling to obey because I was finding more security in disobeying than obeying. Really its the same thing as deciding to trust God. But somehow the word security made it all so clear.
When I feel more secure in rebellion than I do in trusting God I choose rebellion. So I needed to revisit all the reasons why rebellion in this particular choice was not a good idea. And I had to revisit why I could walk by faith knowing I would be secure if I depended on God to make the choice I knew God wanted me to make.
There was so much joy and freedom in the realization and then in the obedience. Seeking God honestly had brought clarity, hope, strength, courage and a willingness to do what I knew God wanted me to do.
Dear Lord,
Thanks for convicting us when we are choosing to walk in ways that you desire to correct in us. Thanks for teaching us to come and ask what's up. Thanks for answering our questions. Thanks for being the source of our ability to obey. Thanks for not making our status as loved children conditional on our behavior. But thanks too for not letting us go on and on in rebellion without talking to us about it. Help us to be brave enough to explore new territory with you.
Amen
I was really struggling to be obedient about something. At first I tried behaviors that have helped put my heart attitude back in a good place. That was having limited success. I've learned that when the old ways of doing things aren't helping something new is up. So after resisting a heart to heart with God about the thing I finally sat my butt down and asked the Lord sincerely what's up!
The answer I got back was indeed something new for me. The Lord pointed out that I was struggling to obey because I was finding more security in disobeying than obeying. Really its the same thing as deciding to trust God. But somehow the word security made it all so clear.
When I feel more secure in rebellion than I do in trusting God I choose rebellion. So I needed to revisit all the reasons why rebellion in this particular choice was not a good idea. And I had to revisit why I could walk by faith knowing I would be secure if I depended on God to make the choice I knew God wanted me to make.
There was so much joy and freedom in the realization and then in the obedience. Seeking God honestly had brought clarity, hope, strength, courage and a willingness to do what I knew God wanted me to do.
Dear Lord,
Thanks for convicting us when we are choosing to walk in ways that you desire to correct in us. Thanks for teaching us to come and ask what's up. Thanks for answering our questions. Thanks for being the source of our ability to obey. Thanks for not making our status as loved children conditional on our behavior. But thanks too for not letting us go on and on in rebellion without talking to us about it. Help us to be brave enough to explore new territory with you.
Amen
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Bring honor to whom honor is due
I went to the funeral of an old friend today.
I was blessed to be there remembering him with so many old friends.
There is sadness for our loss. No more new memories are coming our way. We have to be content with the old ones. At least till we cross over into eternity.
There is joy and hope that is so much bigger than the sadness. It so great to be a Christian.
For those who spent time with him daily and weekly I'll pray for them that the transition to a different life without his daily and weekly presence will go as smoothly as it possibly can.
A funeral of a friend that you respected and believe lived well, really is a great opportunity to do a priority check.
Just before going to the funeral, I told a friend that I believe that a life well lived is one where you have loved God and you have loved people. I really hope that sticks with me as I prayerfully consider the priorities of each day.
I was blessed to be there remembering him with so many old friends.
There is sadness for our loss. No more new memories are coming our way. We have to be content with the old ones. At least till we cross over into eternity.
There is joy and hope that is so much bigger than the sadness. It so great to be a Christian.
For those who spent time with him daily and weekly I'll pray for them that the transition to a different life without his daily and weekly presence will go as smoothly as it possibly can.
A funeral of a friend that you respected and believe lived well, really is a great opportunity to do a priority check.
Just before going to the funeral, I told a friend that I believe that a life well lived is one where you have loved God and you have loved people. I really hope that sticks with me as I prayerfully consider the priorities of each day.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Appreciating Boldness
This week in Bible Study we were hanging out with Miriam. She is Moses' big sister. She is described as a prophetess. There was this time when God did something really big, she responded by dancing and singing and leading others to do the same. What a great picture! Especially to those of us who walk around in culture that has trouble with even saying Amen out loud in a service.
Think about this has reminded me of a time when I was watching an African American preacher, preaching on TV. It was a stadium sized meeting. In this particular groups culture, they did something I have never seen before. When they could identify with what the preacher was saying they would stand up. As the preacher finished his point they would sit back down. It wasn't in any flashy way that they did this. To me it looked like just a different form of shouting Amen in agreement. It was a testimony without words. Their facial expressions and body movements spoke volumes.
Why do I love the way Miriam responded and the way this group demonstrated their faith? Because it takes boldness. It takes confidence in who you believe in to celebrate and believe God in a public way.
Likewise, I love it when our youth in the 5:00pm service rise to their feet in the middle of a song. They are both practicing and preparing their hearts to have that same kind of boldness when they cross the thresholds of their schools or jobs.
I think my generation and those above me need to have more and more respect for how much those younger than us face when they encounter our American culture.
I like loving and bold believers. I want to keep growing in my ability to be both loving and bold.
Think about this has reminded me of a time when I was watching an African American preacher, preaching on TV. It was a stadium sized meeting. In this particular groups culture, they did something I have never seen before. When they could identify with what the preacher was saying they would stand up. As the preacher finished his point they would sit back down. It wasn't in any flashy way that they did this. To me it looked like just a different form of shouting Amen in agreement. It was a testimony without words. Their facial expressions and body movements spoke volumes.
Why do I love the way Miriam responded and the way this group demonstrated their faith? Because it takes boldness. It takes confidence in who you believe in to celebrate and believe God in a public way.
Likewise, I love it when our youth in the 5:00pm service rise to their feet in the middle of a song. They are both practicing and preparing their hearts to have that same kind of boldness when they cross the thresholds of their schools or jobs.
I think my generation and those above me need to have more and more respect for how much those younger than us face when they encounter our American culture.
I like loving and bold believers. I want to keep growing in my ability to be both loving and bold.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Midlife Crisis
Those words used to be so superficial to me. It used to create many cliched visions. Things like fast cars with their tops down. Heart breaking visions as well. Families that just didn't survive the crisis in tact.
I used to wonder what on earth motivated the despair and irrational behaviors until I went through my own. For me it was a sense that I had not found a to do list that matched up with what mattered to me most. In part that was true because I didn't even know what mattered to me most. I was also feeling extremely sad because others had found a to do list that matched up. I could see the joy and fulfillment they were walking in. I didn't know whether to believe that a joyful and fulfilling life could be available to me or not? Was that something that some people got and others did not? So many honest anguished prayers were prayed in those days.
The other large issue for me was that even though I thought I wasn't looking for things to make me happy. I was frustrated that I never seemed able to be content with things just the way they were.
The journey the Lord has taken me on to address all this stuff and more could literally fill a book. One of the bottom line helps has been understanding that Jesus wanted to have a very personal relationship with me. So to be helped through my crisis, I had to learn to walk with Him as my friend and leader. He has become much more to me than my beloved Savior. As I walked more closely I understood that He wanted me to be willing to give up my expectations which were largely based in worldly perspectives about how life "should" be. He wanted to show me what matters to me most. As I have testified here before that process has not been easy. Dying to self and living for God have become very real words to me. Giving up a long held worldly beliefs feels like dying. The irony is that if you don't give them up you die. If you do give them up you live.
One of the most exciting things that has happened in this process is that as God has brought a to my attention a way that I was thinking he has also been very generous in making known to me eternal ways of seeing. Then He has asked me to walk in obedience to Him. As I have chosen submission and obedience I have seen the words on the pages of scripture come alive. I can't tell you how many times I have walked away from situations now thinking, "Wow, all this stuff that God has told us is really true."
Dear Lord,
For all my brothers and sisters who are disillusioned with their lives and who they believe You are, I pray that you would make your presence in their lives known to them. I pray that you would break down thinking that prevents them from trusting you. I pray you will break down thinking that allows us to trust in ourselves more than we trust in you. Thank you God that when you ask us to come and die to ourselves and live for you that you are with us in that. Thank you that you never abandon us. Help us all to learn how to abide with you, walk with you, hang out with you every moment of every day. Thank you for never giving up on us even when we feel like giving up on You.
Thank you for using the boredom and disillusionment and depression to bring us looking to you for answers. Thank you for promising to answer all our questions. May we embrace you and your answers and choose the life that comes from following you.
Amen
I used to wonder what on earth motivated the despair and irrational behaviors until I went through my own. For me it was a sense that I had not found a to do list that matched up with what mattered to me most. In part that was true because I didn't even know what mattered to me most. I was also feeling extremely sad because others had found a to do list that matched up. I could see the joy and fulfillment they were walking in. I didn't know whether to believe that a joyful and fulfilling life could be available to me or not? Was that something that some people got and others did not? So many honest anguished prayers were prayed in those days.
The other large issue for me was that even though I thought I wasn't looking for things to make me happy. I was frustrated that I never seemed able to be content with things just the way they were.
The journey the Lord has taken me on to address all this stuff and more could literally fill a book. One of the bottom line helps has been understanding that Jesus wanted to have a very personal relationship with me. So to be helped through my crisis, I had to learn to walk with Him as my friend and leader. He has become much more to me than my beloved Savior. As I walked more closely I understood that He wanted me to be willing to give up my expectations which were largely based in worldly perspectives about how life "should" be. He wanted to show me what matters to me most. As I have testified here before that process has not been easy. Dying to self and living for God have become very real words to me. Giving up a long held worldly beliefs feels like dying. The irony is that if you don't give them up you die. If you do give them up you live.
One of the most exciting things that has happened in this process is that as God has brought a to my attention a way that I was thinking he has also been very generous in making known to me eternal ways of seeing. Then He has asked me to walk in obedience to Him. As I have chosen submission and obedience I have seen the words on the pages of scripture come alive. I can't tell you how many times I have walked away from situations now thinking, "Wow, all this stuff that God has told us is really true."
Dear Lord,
For all my brothers and sisters who are disillusioned with their lives and who they believe You are, I pray that you would make your presence in their lives known to them. I pray that you would break down thinking that prevents them from trusting you. I pray you will break down thinking that allows us to trust in ourselves more than we trust in you. Thank you God that when you ask us to come and die to ourselves and live for you that you are with us in that. Thank you that you never abandon us. Help us all to learn how to abide with you, walk with you, hang out with you every moment of every day. Thank you for never giving up on us even when we feel like giving up on You.
Thank you for using the boredom and disillusionment and depression to bring us looking to you for answers. Thank you for promising to answer all our questions. May we embrace you and your answers and choose the life that comes from following you.
Amen
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Wednesday night at 7:30 pm there were eight guys and two leaders sitting around my dining room table telling each other why they were bothering to show up to study God's word, pray together and be friends to one another. It was awesome. It was an answer to prayer live and in living color. It was beautiful.
I started a bible study this week subtitled - Walking from fear to faith. I realized this week how much I walk in fear related to raising Matt. I realized how much those fears are related to really ridiculous reactions on my part to certain things. I'm grateful God's getting my attention on this one. I'm looking forward to my heart changing in this area.
I chose Proverbs 3:5&6 for Matt this week. I prayed that he would, "Trust the Lord with all his heart and lean not on his own way of understanding things." Then it seemed like the Lord was showing me that the odds are better for Matt to actually have that perspective if I model it as I parent him. I need to trust the Lord with all my heart in matters that relate to going through the day with Matt.
Dear God,
I have never been so aware that I am so in over my head when it comes to raising Matt. I'm grateful for that feeling because its leading me to you. So Lord I pray that all of us that are raising kids right now that you will help us to trust that you have every intention of letting us in on what we need to know. That as we walk in step with your Spirit that we will be empowered by you to provide what you know our kids need. I thank you in advance for the answers to prayer we will get to witness live and in living color. God you are so good to us. We thank you for being good. We love you and we want to love you more. We want our kids to love you with all their hearts, their souls, their minds and their muscles and their gifts. All these things, which are the very biggest of things, we ask in Jesus name.
Amen
I started a bible study this week subtitled - Walking from fear to faith. I realized this week how much I walk in fear related to raising Matt. I realized how much those fears are related to really ridiculous reactions on my part to certain things. I'm grateful God's getting my attention on this one. I'm looking forward to my heart changing in this area.
I chose Proverbs 3:5&6 for Matt this week. I prayed that he would, "Trust the Lord with all his heart and lean not on his own way of understanding things." Then it seemed like the Lord was showing me that the odds are better for Matt to actually have that perspective if I model it as I parent him. I need to trust the Lord with all my heart in matters that relate to going through the day with Matt.
Dear God,
I have never been so aware that I am so in over my head when it comes to raising Matt. I'm grateful for that feeling because its leading me to you. So Lord I pray that all of us that are raising kids right now that you will help us to trust that you have every intention of letting us in on what we need to know. That as we walk in step with your Spirit that we will be empowered by you to provide what you know our kids need. I thank you in advance for the answers to prayer we will get to witness live and in living color. God you are so good to us. We thank you for being good. We love you and we want to love you more. We want our kids to love you with all their hearts, their souls, their minds and their muscles and their gifts. All these things, which are the very biggest of things, we ask in Jesus name.
Amen
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire
I can't believe how long it has been since I last submitted a post. Time is flying.
This last week I watched my son leave for his first day of High School. I spent my week being reunited with old friends and meeting new friends. The hand of God just kept showing up in such meaningful ways. What a ride!
I'd like to tell you about two of them. My friend W**** invited me to a prayer group called Moms In Touch. This same friend said casually out loud in a gathering of Marching Band Moms that she would be attending this group the next day. One of the Mom's that heard her comment came. As we were being introduced to each other as new to the area we explained where we had come from etc. It turns out her husband and my husband and I all went to the same small college in East Texas. I never meet anyone who has attending my school. Not only did we attend the same school but at the same time and I remembered who her husband is. She has become friends with my freshman roommate who I had lost track of and needed a new address for. So much fun!!!
That wasn't the only great conversation that took place at that meeting. But I want to tell you about something else instead. Four years ago I did a Bible study this summer I have been going over the material again. For my birthday, my mother in law gave me a book called Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala. I have wanted to read that book for years. I realized in the last few days that it had been quoted in the bible study I am now redoing and that is why I have wanted to read it all this time. Will I ever stop being shocked at how detailed God gets in my life? What a marvel God is?!
So I started reading this book over the last four days, I wish every believer who wonders why they face more roadblocks than green lights at church would be able to read this book. It is a 200 page or so defense of why talking to the Lord, crying out to the Lord, being a community that does this together is a necessary piece of a congregations life. I really do mean the word necessary.
So now I'm praying. Lord, how do you want me specifically to participate in prayer for and with this congregation of believers I call my church home? I can't wait to find out what the answer is.
So how is God showing you He's involved in your day?
This last week I watched my son leave for his first day of High School. I spent my week being reunited with old friends and meeting new friends. The hand of God just kept showing up in such meaningful ways. What a ride!
I'd like to tell you about two of them. My friend W**** invited me to a prayer group called Moms In Touch. This same friend said casually out loud in a gathering of Marching Band Moms that she would be attending this group the next day. One of the Mom's that heard her comment came. As we were being introduced to each other as new to the area we explained where we had come from etc. It turns out her husband and my husband and I all went to the same small college in East Texas. I never meet anyone who has attending my school. Not only did we attend the same school but at the same time and I remembered who her husband is. She has become friends with my freshman roommate who I had lost track of and needed a new address for. So much fun!!!
That wasn't the only great conversation that took place at that meeting. But I want to tell you about something else instead. Four years ago I did a Bible study this summer I have been going over the material again. For my birthday, my mother in law gave me a book called Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala. I have wanted to read that book for years. I realized in the last few days that it had been quoted in the bible study I am now redoing and that is why I have wanted to read it all this time. Will I ever stop being shocked at how detailed God gets in my life? What a marvel God is?!
So I started reading this book over the last four days, I wish every believer who wonders why they face more roadblocks than green lights at church would be able to read this book. It is a 200 page or so defense of why talking to the Lord, crying out to the Lord, being a community that does this together is a necessary piece of a congregations life. I really do mean the word necessary.
So now I'm praying. Lord, how do you want me specifically to participate in prayer for and with this congregation of believers I call my church home? I can't wait to find out what the answer is.
So how is God showing you He's involved in your day?
Monday, August 20, 2007
A memorable day
Yesterday was a great day!
I woke up to a breathtaking sunrise.
I read a passage in Luke that had me in awe of Jesus again.
I hosted a brunch for seven girlfriends. A mini-retreat. A joy to do.
I had a long Sunday afternoon nap.
I went to church and heard from missionaries. Some of my very favorite people.
We stayed after church and listened to one of the missionary couples share some victories and some hope and some challenges. This particular missionary couple is a couple I was first introducd to eighteen years ago. They were just leaving for the mission field when we met them in Plano.
Over the years they have come back and shared how difficult the area they are ministering to is. You could see in their faces the burden they carried for this people who did not trust what they had to share about God. They would ask us to pray. We did.
This time the joy on their faces was so beautiful to behold. A church has been planted. The pastor is someone local. All that was prayed for, for so many years by so many people is now in existence.
So now there are new prayers to pray. There are new challenges to face. There is hope to face them with.
Then we went to dinner as a family.
Then God ended the day with a beautiful sunset.
It was a great day to become 40 years old. :)
I woke up to a breathtaking sunrise.
I read a passage in Luke that had me in awe of Jesus again.
I hosted a brunch for seven girlfriends. A mini-retreat. A joy to do.
I had a long Sunday afternoon nap.
I went to church and heard from missionaries. Some of my very favorite people.
We stayed after church and listened to one of the missionary couples share some victories and some hope and some challenges. This particular missionary couple is a couple I was first introducd to eighteen years ago. They were just leaving for the mission field when we met them in Plano.
Over the years they have come back and shared how difficult the area they are ministering to is. You could see in their faces the burden they carried for this people who did not trust what they had to share about God. They would ask us to pray. We did.
This time the joy on their faces was so beautiful to behold. A church has been planted. The pastor is someone local. All that was prayed for, for so many years by so many people is now in existence.
So now there are new prayers to pray. There are new challenges to face. There is hope to face them with.
Then we went to dinner as a family.
Then God ended the day with a beautiful sunset.
It was a great day to become 40 years old. :)
Friday, August 10, 2007
Thankful
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I'm receiving an answer to prayer today that I didn't know until just recently if this request was going to be in God's will for me or not.
I believe it is God's will to provide shelter from the elements. In some places that may just be a shade tree. In fact this morning I was reading on a blog about a mission trip to Africa, to the nation of Angolia. This country is five years beyond a civil war. Some progress is being made in feeding the children of this country. The mission orgaznizations however only have food to offer to the children and nursing mothers. So the workers feed the children and have to observe the adults standing off to the side waiting for their children to eat the one nutritious meal they will have all day.
On the same day I reflect on her mission experience, I'm receiving a gift today which is more than a shelter, it is a home that matches with desires of my heart. The cupboards will be bare when we walk in today but very soon they will be filled up with food. My husband and I will not have to choose which one of us will go without a meal so our son can grow and avoid dying from a mosquito bite.
The extreme differences between these two existences makes so little sense.
In places like Isaiah, which I can't quote right now, there are passages that basically translate, You got fat and happy and you stopped caring about those who were in desperate need. I, God, hold this against you.
So I'm extremely grateful that God has orchestrated the purchase of this home in such a way that I am confident this is a gift from God to us. Our family is going to enjoy living there and sharing the home with others. And I'm asking God to somehow help me enjoy it and at the same time avoid getting fat and happy and ambivalent or arrogant towards those who have less.
Dear Lord,
Thank you. Help us to truly be grateful and even humbled by what you have done for us. Thanks for taking stuff away from us and showing us its more blessed to be without stuff and with you then the other way around. Thank you now for trusting us to have stuff again. Please convict us when we're losing perspective. Please show us how to demonstrate that we care about the needs of others.
In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
I believe it is God's will to provide shelter from the elements. In some places that may just be a shade tree. In fact this morning I was reading on a blog about a mission trip to Africa, to the nation of Angolia. This country is five years beyond a civil war. Some progress is being made in feeding the children of this country. The mission orgaznizations however only have food to offer to the children and nursing mothers. So the workers feed the children and have to observe the adults standing off to the side waiting for their children to eat the one nutritious meal they will have all day.
On the same day I reflect on her mission experience, I'm receiving a gift today which is more than a shelter, it is a home that matches with desires of my heart. The cupboards will be bare when we walk in today but very soon they will be filled up with food. My husband and I will not have to choose which one of us will go without a meal so our son can grow and avoid dying from a mosquito bite.
The extreme differences between these two existences makes so little sense.
In places like Isaiah, which I can't quote right now, there are passages that basically translate, You got fat and happy and you stopped caring about those who were in desperate need. I, God, hold this against you.
So I'm extremely grateful that God has orchestrated the purchase of this home in such a way that I am confident this is a gift from God to us. Our family is going to enjoy living there and sharing the home with others. And I'm asking God to somehow help me enjoy it and at the same time avoid getting fat and happy and ambivalent or arrogant towards those who have less.
Dear Lord,
Thank you. Help us to truly be grateful and even humbled by what you have done for us. Thanks for taking stuff away from us and showing us its more blessed to be without stuff and with you then the other way around. Thank you now for trusting us to have stuff again. Please convict us when we're losing perspective. Please show us how to demonstrate that we care about the needs of others.
In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Wondering what God is going to say...
Many people I know and love are asking God to answer a long-term prayer request this week. When you sit and contemplate the number of lives that will be affected by the answer to this one request it's a mind bender. God deals with these kind of requests everyday all day long.
His answer may be "not yet" and then the waiting and praying will continue. Or his answer may be "yes" and a new list of prayer requests will begin.
So we pray:
Our Father who is in Heaven, Sovereign over all people and situations, we praise your holy name. We desire your kingdom and we desire to be a part of your plan here on earth. So above all of the things, we think or we want, we turn our wills over to you and ask for your will to be done. We ask for your grace.
Thanks for giving us what we need every single day. Help us to get that it is you meeting our needs. Keep us mindful when we don't do things the way you desire us to do them. Help us to forgive others when they make that same mistake. Since we know that evil is real and this decision this week is a really big deal. We ask for protection for all those involved.
Lord we praise you for letting us be apart of you and your kingdom. We desire to give you the glory and honor and praise. It's good to be a part of what is eternal. Help us to increasingly desire to be a part of what is eternal.
Amen
His answer may be "not yet" and then the waiting and praying will continue. Or his answer may be "yes" and a new list of prayer requests will begin.
So we pray:
Our Father who is in Heaven, Sovereign over all people and situations, we praise your holy name. We desire your kingdom and we desire to be a part of your plan here on earth. So above all of the things, we think or we want, we turn our wills over to you and ask for your will to be done. We ask for your grace.
Thanks for giving us what we need every single day. Help us to get that it is you meeting our needs. Keep us mindful when we don't do things the way you desire us to do them. Help us to forgive others when they make that same mistake. Since we know that evil is real and this decision this week is a really big deal. We ask for protection for all those involved.
Lord we praise you for letting us be apart of you and your kingdom. We desire to give you the glory and honor and praise. It's good to be a part of what is eternal. Help us to increasingly desire to be a part of what is eternal.
Amen
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Needing Humility
I've written here before about my recent experiences with memorizing scripture. Its a topic that has been on my mind quite a bit over the last two weeks.
Back in the spring a small group of us were meeting together to pray for each other and for our church family. During that time we came to the conclusion as a small group that we would participate in memorizing scripture together. We gave each other hints, discovered how differently some of us memorize from others. Enjoyed having something in common as well as our uniqueness.
After the first passage was memorized, it was time to choose another. Someone in the group was reading from a book that had a suggested list of passages to memorize. Choosing another set of verses happened to coincide with my discovering of the verses in Lamentations that I have commented so much on in the last few months. The group understood how much these verses had touched me and why and agreed to memorize them with me. This meant that memorizing portions of Phillipians 2 got put on the back burner.
When we all had the next set of verse memorized everyone but me was ready to move on to Phillipians 2. I think this was a good lesson for all of us. At that moment I had a decision to make. I knew that meditating on what I had learned in Lamentations was getting me through challenging days. I also knew that if I gave up that time of meditation and jumped in Phillipians 2 I would be doing it to please the group. I would be obeying some kind of group law. I explained this and they understood. I didn't start memorizing with them.
But now I find it interesting that Phillipians 2 is exactly where I think I need to be memorizing and meditating on the word. This passage reflects on and worships the Lord Jesus Christ for his humility. It challenges us with the reality that being transformed into the image of Christ requires humility and is the experience of humilty. I am now ready to work on learning these verses.
I'm hesitating to type this next part. I'm very embarrassed. But I have been struggling to have an attitude of humility in the midst of God answering so many prayers for us. I'm very grateful the Lord has been convicting me of this. I'm grateful for his forgiveness. There is probably no better passage for me to be working on memorizing than Phillipians 2.
Like so many others, there has been a song that has meant so much to me over the last few years. One of the lines of the song is: Blessed be Your name in the land that is plentiful where the streams of abundance flow. Blessed be Your name. I allowed myself moments of blessing my own name. That is sin. I'm very sorry those moments happened. I hope and pray that I am learning how to walk truly praising God and giving Him credit for all He has done and is doing in my life.
Back in the spring a small group of us were meeting together to pray for each other and for our church family. During that time we came to the conclusion as a small group that we would participate in memorizing scripture together. We gave each other hints, discovered how differently some of us memorize from others. Enjoyed having something in common as well as our uniqueness.
After the first passage was memorized, it was time to choose another. Someone in the group was reading from a book that had a suggested list of passages to memorize. Choosing another set of verses happened to coincide with my discovering of the verses in Lamentations that I have commented so much on in the last few months. The group understood how much these verses had touched me and why and agreed to memorize them with me. This meant that memorizing portions of Phillipians 2 got put on the back burner.
When we all had the next set of verse memorized everyone but me was ready to move on to Phillipians 2. I think this was a good lesson for all of us. At that moment I had a decision to make. I knew that meditating on what I had learned in Lamentations was getting me through challenging days. I also knew that if I gave up that time of meditation and jumped in Phillipians 2 I would be doing it to please the group. I would be obeying some kind of group law. I explained this and they understood. I didn't start memorizing with them.
But now I find it interesting that Phillipians 2 is exactly where I think I need to be memorizing and meditating on the word. This passage reflects on and worships the Lord Jesus Christ for his humility. It challenges us with the reality that being transformed into the image of Christ requires humility and is the experience of humilty. I am now ready to work on learning these verses.
I'm hesitating to type this next part. I'm very embarrassed. But I have been struggling to have an attitude of humility in the midst of God answering so many prayers for us. I'm very grateful the Lord has been convicting me of this. I'm grateful for his forgiveness. There is probably no better passage for me to be working on memorizing than Phillipians 2.
Like so many others, there has been a song that has meant so much to me over the last few years. One of the lines of the song is: Blessed be Your name in the land that is plentiful where the streams of abundance flow. Blessed be Your name. I allowed myself moments of blessing my own name. That is sin. I'm very sorry those moments happened. I hope and pray that I am learning how to walk truly praising God and giving Him credit for all He has done and is doing in my life.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Strength and Courage
I'm doing bible study this summer about faith. The teacher of this bible study is asking us to believe God.
This particular week she has spent time reminding us that God intends our walk of faith to have the qualities of strength and courage.
As I face the challenges associated with moving, especially the challenge that God may be asking me to enter new territory regarding work, it has been a good reminder that God will provide strength and courage for such a place.
One of my greatest inspirations in this area of walking with the Lord is my boy. My boy who is turning into a man. This guy hasn't known for over a year what city or state he would be attending high school in. And, I couldn't even count on two hands the number of minutes he has spent angry or frustrated about it. I can't even tell you how many times people have asked me about how he is doing. When I have described it, I think most have had a hard time believing he was coping so well. We have attributed this to answered prayer. God has provided him strength and courage over this last year to face change.
Since we've been back in Texas, I've seen it show up in new ways. The fact that his old friends don't or haven't been able to attend Wednesday nights at church hasn't kept him from braving new territory. He is determined to have meaningful relationships with God's people. He understands that requires showing up in places and situations that your not always comfortable in at first. That touches this Mama's heart at its very epicenter.
Dear God,
Thank you for giving my fourteen year old boy/man a vision for why on earth church matters. May the journey we've been on as a family this past year be a spiritual marker for him. May he be able to look back on how you provided for him during this time of transition. May that fuel trust in you for days that are even more challenging than the ones he has passed through this last year. May he have the courage and strength to give you his whole heart. May he continue to be willing to walk by faith and not by sight.
Amen
This particular week she has spent time reminding us that God intends our walk of faith to have the qualities of strength and courage.
As I face the challenges associated with moving, especially the challenge that God may be asking me to enter new territory regarding work, it has been a good reminder that God will provide strength and courage for such a place.
One of my greatest inspirations in this area of walking with the Lord is my boy. My boy who is turning into a man. This guy hasn't known for over a year what city or state he would be attending high school in. And, I couldn't even count on two hands the number of minutes he has spent angry or frustrated about it. I can't even tell you how many times people have asked me about how he is doing. When I have described it, I think most have had a hard time believing he was coping so well. We have attributed this to answered prayer. God has provided him strength and courage over this last year to face change.
Since we've been back in Texas, I've seen it show up in new ways. The fact that his old friends don't or haven't been able to attend Wednesday nights at church hasn't kept him from braving new territory. He is determined to have meaningful relationships with God's people. He understands that requires showing up in places and situations that your not always comfortable in at first. That touches this Mama's heart at its very epicenter.
Dear God,
Thank you for giving my fourteen year old boy/man a vision for why on earth church matters. May the journey we've been on as a family this past year be a spiritual marker for him. May he be able to look back on how you provided for him during this time of transition. May that fuel trust in you for days that are even more challenging than the ones he has passed through this last year. May he have the courage and strength to give you his whole heart. May he continue to be willing to walk by faith and not by sight.
Amen
Friday, July 13, 2007
Are you waiting for an explanation?
Have you ever looked back on a time period in your life and said, "Now I get it God!"
It feels like I'm having that conversation with God almost hourly the last few days. Light bulb moments are firing off faster than I can remember them. I keep thinking God I want to have time to write down everything you're doing because I want to remember.
I've also noticed that in relationships with people, especially the parent child relationship, a parent says, "Just do what I'm telling you." Sometimes parents say this because they don't have time to explain or they're to tired. Other times it is because their child is not ready to comprehend the reasons why. And still others the parent doesn't really know "why" well enough to explain it themselves. And then when the child comes around to seeing the wisdom of the instruction or action a parent can be very tempted to have an, "I told you so attitude."
Looking back I think there were times when God said, "I just can't explain what I'm doing yet. You just wouldn't understand." But instead of feeling hung out to dry in those moments, I felt a calling to persevere with hope. A call to believe in God's goodness.
Its one thing to believe God is good when things are going smoothly and linearly. Its quite another when God takes seriously your desire to be transformed by Him into his likeness and therefore his perspectives. Because letting go of earthly values can be very difficult and even heartbreaking. But not I can see so many purposes in wandering around in the desert. I needed time away from what was my normal in order to have eyes to see and ears to hear what God wanted to show me.
A crazy part of that journey was that I was wandering around in the desert with people who were in their homelands the last four years. Their love and hospitality went a long way towards making the spiritual desert experience survivable. But it was never meant to be our homeland as well.
So what's my point? If you find yourself in circumstances that don't make sense to you. You wish God would lighten up. Hang on tight to the truth that God loves you. If you have told God that you will go an do and be wherever and whatever He wants you to be, there will be some sifting out of earthly perspectives and their will be some fires for refining. But on the other side of the sifter and the fire there is love for God that can be obtained no other way. I truly trust Him more than I ever have before.
Dear Lord,
You are blowing me away. I am flabbergasted by your orchestration of the details of my life. I am just one little soul on the planet of billions of people. I also watch you doing these things in lives of people I love. Lord, help us all to put our faith in you every single day. Give us opportunities to testify with love and gentleness and humility about who you are and what your up to. Help us not to squander what you've done in our hearts and the resources you have given us. Thank you for providing what we need to hang on to you when things just don't seem to add up. We love you Lord and we want to learn to love you more.
Amen
It feels like I'm having that conversation with God almost hourly the last few days. Light bulb moments are firing off faster than I can remember them. I keep thinking God I want to have time to write down everything you're doing because I want to remember.
I've also noticed that in relationships with people, especially the parent child relationship, a parent says, "Just do what I'm telling you." Sometimes parents say this because they don't have time to explain or they're to tired. Other times it is because their child is not ready to comprehend the reasons why. And still others the parent doesn't really know "why" well enough to explain it themselves. And then when the child comes around to seeing the wisdom of the instruction or action a parent can be very tempted to have an, "I told you so attitude."
Looking back I think there were times when God said, "I just can't explain what I'm doing yet. You just wouldn't understand." But instead of feeling hung out to dry in those moments, I felt a calling to persevere with hope. A call to believe in God's goodness.
Its one thing to believe God is good when things are going smoothly and linearly. Its quite another when God takes seriously your desire to be transformed by Him into his likeness and therefore his perspectives. Because letting go of earthly values can be very difficult and even heartbreaking. But not I can see so many purposes in wandering around in the desert. I needed time away from what was my normal in order to have eyes to see and ears to hear what God wanted to show me.
A crazy part of that journey was that I was wandering around in the desert with people who were in their homelands the last four years. Their love and hospitality went a long way towards making the spiritual desert experience survivable. But it was never meant to be our homeland as well.
So what's my point? If you find yourself in circumstances that don't make sense to you. You wish God would lighten up. Hang on tight to the truth that God loves you. If you have told God that you will go an do and be wherever and whatever He wants you to be, there will be some sifting out of earthly perspectives and their will be some fires for refining. But on the other side of the sifter and the fire there is love for God that can be obtained no other way. I truly trust Him more than I ever have before.
Dear Lord,
You are blowing me away. I am flabbergasted by your orchestration of the details of my life. I am just one little soul on the planet of billions of people. I also watch you doing these things in lives of people I love. Lord, help us all to put our faith in you every single day. Give us opportunities to testify with love and gentleness and humility about who you are and what your up to. Help us not to squander what you've done in our hearts and the resources you have given us. Thank you for providing what we need to hang on to you when things just don't seem to add up. We love you Lord and we want to learn to love you more.
Amen
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Resurfacing
Oh my goodness, so much has happened in the last eleven days.
Sad "see you laters" to our California friends.
27 hour road trip with all our stuff. Stuff is so overrated. If they would allow families to live in a commune I would seriously consider it this week.
Large and small God-incidences. So many prayers were answered so wonderfully.
Fabulously fun reunions with family and friends.
We are experiencing the fruit of waiting on the Lord. The fruit tastes very sweet and wholesome.
There are many decisions ahead of us over the next weeks and months and we rejoice that we are confident that the Lord will guide us as we make them. We're looking forward to what surprises await us as the plan unfolds.
So what's the adventure God has you on this summer? I would LOVE to hear about it. :)
Sad "see you laters" to our California friends.
27 hour road trip with all our stuff. Stuff is so overrated. If they would allow families to live in a commune I would seriously consider it this week.
Large and small God-incidences. So many prayers were answered so wonderfully.
Fabulously fun reunions with family and friends.
We are experiencing the fruit of waiting on the Lord. The fruit tastes very sweet and wholesome.
There are many decisions ahead of us over the next weeks and months and we rejoice that we are confident that the Lord will guide us as we make them. We're looking forward to what surprises await us as the plan unfolds.
So what's the adventure God has you on this summer? I would LOVE to hear about it. :)
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Praising God
In a particular area of our lives, we have been in a season of waiting on the Lord.
This season has been long from an earthly perspective. It has been full of one central question. God has been asking, "Will you trust me?"
While our testimony of what God has provided for our future is so generous and sweet and a hundred other words, what I want to say today is that God was generous, sweet, faithful, hopeful, good and a provider of peace and joy during the waiting. When I doubted, life was awful. When I believed in Him, the words on the pages of Scripture came alive in me. There is so much life available to us in submissive dependency on God. There is so much life available in a state of humility. There is angst and misery in pride and independence.
So why was it good and loving for God to force me into a state of waiting the last couple of years? I have discovered, at least in part, the answer to that recently. It turns out one of the hallmarks of my personality is a drive to acheive. This is a quality that God has place in me. It has been a strength. But as we all know strengths are also our greatest weaknesses. You see, I haven't been good at all in the past at waiting on God. I think God looked down on me and said okay now is the time. It's time to teach our dear Cheri the value of waiting. I think God knew that I believe just enough in His goodness and His love that forcing me to wait would not break my faith instead it would strenghen it.
I can honestly say that I am grateful for what I have come to know about the Lord and what I understand about myself as a result of the journey I have been on. I don't think an easier path would have provided me what I am so grateful for now.
Here's the crazy generous part! Five days before getting on the road to return to Dallas to continue a job search for my husband, he got a job offer in Dallas with a move package included for the company he most wanted to go to work for. Grace, Grace God's Amazing Grace!
Do you know that God loves you just as much when he is saying "no" and "maybe" and "I'll let you know eventually" and "yes"!
Yet this I will call to mind and therefore I have hope, because of the Lord's GREAT LOVE, we are not consumed. His COMPASSION never fails, they are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. I will say to myself, the LORD is my portion, I will wait for Him. The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him. It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Lamentations 3
Dear Lord,
Thank you for going out of your way to teach me to wait. Thank you for pouring your love out on us. Thank you for brothers and sisters in Christ that we could depend on as we waited. Thank you for being who you are and doing what you do on our behalf.
Amen and Amen
This season has been long from an earthly perspective. It has been full of one central question. God has been asking, "Will you trust me?"
While our testimony of what God has provided for our future is so generous and sweet and a hundred other words, what I want to say today is that God was generous, sweet, faithful, hopeful, good and a provider of peace and joy during the waiting. When I doubted, life was awful. When I believed in Him, the words on the pages of Scripture came alive in me. There is so much life available to us in submissive dependency on God. There is so much life available in a state of humility. There is angst and misery in pride and independence.
So why was it good and loving for God to force me into a state of waiting the last couple of years? I have discovered, at least in part, the answer to that recently. It turns out one of the hallmarks of my personality is a drive to acheive. This is a quality that God has place in me. It has been a strength. But as we all know strengths are also our greatest weaknesses. You see, I haven't been good at all in the past at waiting on God. I think God looked down on me and said okay now is the time. It's time to teach our dear Cheri the value of waiting. I think God knew that I believe just enough in His goodness and His love that forcing me to wait would not break my faith instead it would strenghen it.
I can honestly say that I am grateful for what I have come to know about the Lord and what I understand about myself as a result of the journey I have been on. I don't think an easier path would have provided me what I am so grateful for now.
Here's the crazy generous part! Five days before getting on the road to return to Dallas to continue a job search for my husband, he got a job offer in Dallas with a move package included for the company he most wanted to go to work for. Grace, Grace God's Amazing Grace!
Do you know that God loves you just as much when he is saying "no" and "maybe" and "I'll let you know eventually" and "yes"!
Yet this I will call to mind and therefore I have hope, because of the Lord's GREAT LOVE, we are not consumed. His COMPASSION never fails, they are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. I will say to myself, the LORD is my portion, I will wait for Him. The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him. It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Lamentations 3
Dear Lord,
Thank you for going out of your way to teach me to wait. Thank you for pouring your love out on us. Thank you for brothers and sisters in Christ that we could depend on as we waited. Thank you for being who you are and doing what you do on our behalf.
Amen and Amen
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Promotion Day
It's official. As of today, I'm living with a highschooler. Our son walked across a stage and into a new era of his life.
Days like today take me back to our son's preschool days. There were so many choices for educating him. Homeschool, public school and private school. All our friends wanted to make a good decision and one that matched our families and matched our kids. We asked God for guidance. We were given an answer. It went well. The cycle has continued every year since then. I marvel at what God has provided every single year. Great teachers. Great schools. Both great and small challenges. We have been blessed and we are grateful.
In addition to feeling reflective, I'm also very delighted. I have often pondered what my son would be like as he grew into a man. The little boy is fleeing and the young man is emerging. And, I like him. He is engergetic, fun loving, eternally optimistic, good to his friends and quick to wear shirts and sweatshirts that declare to the world his love of God.
Many of you who read this blog have contributed to his life in countless ways. I want to say Thank you!! From the bottom of this Momma's heart, Thank you!!
Days like today take me back to our son's preschool days. There were so many choices for educating him. Homeschool, public school and private school. All our friends wanted to make a good decision and one that matched our families and matched our kids. We asked God for guidance. We were given an answer. It went well. The cycle has continued every year since then. I marvel at what God has provided every single year. Great teachers. Great schools. Both great and small challenges. We have been blessed and we are grateful.
In addition to feeling reflective, I'm also very delighted. I have often pondered what my son would be like as he grew into a man. The little boy is fleeing and the young man is emerging. And, I like him. He is engergetic, fun loving, eternally optimistic, good to his friends and quick to wear shirts and sweatshirts that declare to the world his love of God.
Many of you who read this blog have contributed to his life in countless ways. I want to say Thank you!! From the bottom of this Momma's heart, Thank you!!
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